Plenty More Fish

Dragons are one of the most well known and feared mythical beast. They are fairly easy to spot ie. Huge, wings, scaly, breathes fire, that sorta thing. I’m not gonna write down the entomology of the name and everything (which my book of dragons extensively covers) since if you ever face a dragon the only thing you will ever need to know is how to kill it or befriend it. But 100% guarantee the first is easier.

Of course you could just break into some high security government area and steal a nuclear weapon and just kaplomp it onto the dragon (will effectively kill 11 dragons, double the amount if they are small) but in doing so you will be breaking several trespassing, stealing, human safety and government privacy laws and may end up dead.

Guns are also ineffective as those meagre bullets will just bounce off their tough hide and if you’re really unlucky right onto you. Cannonballs are a more effective alternative to bullets but by the time you’ve aimed it and lighted it I’ll bet that the dragon has already eaten you.

This now leaves only a magic wand and a sword so unless you can obtain and operate the former I suggest starting to polish your sword skills. Once you have learnt how to use the sword the rest is rather simple as all you need to do is locate your nearest medieval castle and nick one of their shields and your ready to set off.

Once you are there locate the dragon with your heat vision goggles/binoculars/movement detectors/eyes and once you have appropriately lured or provoked it, just repeatedly wack at it, blocking its timed bursts of fire with your shield (I hope I mentioned it needs to be metal) and just keep going at your own leisurely pace until you get close enough to its head to lop it off.

Now you have your very own dragon head to mount on the space above your fireplace. Don’t have a fireplace? Why that’s shocking!

Serving Suggestion: While you’re at it chuck in a few smoke bombs to blind the dragon (may increase flammability so careful where you chuck it)

If you’re doing all of this to save a damsel in distress please don’t, I mean there’s plenty more fish in the sea or lake or pond or puddle (depending on your travel radius).