Sunday, June 17, 2012

This One's for you, Wilfred (What a nagger)


It feels so strange to be writing in my blog again after discovering a whole new world outside my computer where there are real trees and fresh air! However at the urging of a strange being I had
encountered in my journeys to the outer-where”, I post again. *cue dramatic music*

Field Notes
It has come to my attention that outside the comfort and safety of my lair there exists a strange land (I shall call it the outer-where”[see above]) that is filled with bacteria and locusts. The locusts are my friends but the bacteria have just simply been wreaking havoc my near invincible immune system, yet seeming to have no effect on the native populace.
Ah, yes, the native populace (I shall call them the outer- beings”[see above]), after continuous observations of these creatures I have deduced their ingenious outwittance of this ‘bacteria’. I plan to submit in my work and hopefully (definitely) receive at least a knighthood for my efforts.
The outer-beings seem to use a unique language of their own that involves a series of tongue rolls and noise issuing from a special organ that I found in a dissected "outer-being” called a voice box, when said in a sequence the noises seem to have magical effects. This is seen in the strange phrase “bless you”. Consisting of two separate words: “bless” (verb. to bestow holiness on somebody or something in a religious ceremony) and “you” (pronoun. refers to the person or people being addressed or written to). When said immediately after a sneeze, it seems to negate the spray of bacteria filled saliva. How? I do not know. Maybe the locusts do. (Click the link! Click the link!)

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